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Airline stories

All too rarely, airline attendants make an effort to make the in-flight "safety lecture" and their other announcements a bit more entertaining. Here are some real examples that have been heard or reported:

   On a Continental Flight with a very "senior" flight attendant crew, the  pilot said, 
"Ladies and gentlemen, we've reached cruising  altitude and  will  be turning down the cabin lights. This is for your comfort and to enhance the appearance of your flight attendants." 
On landing the attendant said, "Please be sure to take all your belongings. If you're going to leave anything, please make sure it's something we'd like to have."

 "There may be 50 ways to leave your lover, but there are only 4 ways out of  this airplane."

 "Thank you for flying Delta Business Express. We hope you enjoyed giving us the business as much as we enjoyed taking you for a ride."

 As the plane landed and was coming to a stop at Washington National, a lone voice came over the loudspeaker: "Whoa, big fella. WHOA!"

 After attendant on a Northwest flight announced, "Please take care when opening the overhead compartments after a landing like that!