We, The Citizens of Florida

Dear Nation,
We, the State of Florida, would like to apologize for not being able to count. We knew our schools were lagging behind the rest of the nation, but we never knew just how badly things were here.

Maybe its from all that pesticide we use to control those giant palmetto bugs. Maybe its
from too many margaritas and Jimmy Buffet. Maybe, just Maybe, the glorious Florida sun has baked our brains just a little too much. We also want to apologize that even after hundreds of years of voting, we are not aware of the fact that we can only
pick ONE Presidential candidate and not two. Some of us thought down here in
the Sunshine state that we could pick a first choice and then a second
choice. Kind a like when we vote for our favorite Disney character. Oh well.
Again, sincere apologies, we have our abacus' out and we are starting over
and we swear we will get it right this time. 

Sincerely,
The Citizens of State of Florida

 We, the people of Florida, are holding this election hostage.
When you, the people of the U.S., promise to stop sending us your
old people, we will release your election.

State renamed,  Flori-duh